May 2018
Life can be difficult and confusing when we forget that everything is in God’s hands. I was raised as a cradle-Catholic in a very devout Italian family, but at the time, I was not a practicing Catholic as I had become disenchanted with the Church. However, I was still religious and had recently started attending a non-denominational church that provided the excitement that I craved. My renewed faith journey began twelve years ago in the midst of an extremely difficult and confusing time in my life. In September of 2006, I came down with a terrible sickness. I was miserable: my muscles ached, I was extremely fatigued and I suffered from severe nausea and intense dizziness on a daily basis. I sought help from a plethora of local doctors which eventually led me to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, the Holy Land of diagnosing and treating sickness, so to speak.
Throughout this time I was basically being bounced around from doctor to doctor and even at the Mayo Clinic I was not given a definitive diagnosis. I was admitted to the hospital on numerous occasions and after months of tests and doctor visits my results were pointing towards an auto immune disease that had yet to be identified or some potentially rare form of cancer. It was hard to maintain a positive outlook, but through this suffering God gave me something beautiful. I would wake up in severe pain, but also with a burning thirst for Christ, so I began to quench this thirst in the adoration chapel. I often woke up in the middle of the night, ripped from my sleep by the fear of dying and leaving my precious family behind, so I would go to adoration to listen for whatever it was God might have to say to me. My trips to the adoration chapel were frequent and had an amazing effect on me. Not only was starting to feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally but most of all spiritually. Jesus was helping me through this. These visits in adoration with Jesus lasted anywhere from minutes to hours and I found myself crying out to God from the very depths of my soul. After months of bad news from the doctors, I finally received something from God that revitalized my hope.
God called me to visit Medjugorje. I admit, as I made plans for my trip I had an agenda. I wanted more than anything to be healed of this sickness that had been plaguing me. I was hoping for a miracle. Even with this hope of healing, it was a difficult trip to make. It meant I would have to leave my wife, 2 1/2 year old daughter, and 6 month old son to go to a place I didn’t know inspired by nothing but faith and hope. Despite the lure of staying in my comfort zone, I felt called to make this pilgrimage, and sure enough, God had a plan for me on this trip.
My time in Medjugorje was a blessing for many reasons. First and foremost, it brought me back home to the Catholic Church. It showed me what it looked like to truly live the faith and it showed me the importance of the Sacraments. Shortly after returning home, my blood work showed up inexplicably normal for the first time in 18 months. My priorities were suddenly realigned, and I had undergone a full metamorphosis. I used to attend mass and occasionally seek God when I needed Him, but now I actively seek God in every day of my life and acknowledge my full dependence on Him.
My previous belief that Catholicism and the Church was stale completely collapsed as I finally understood the power of our faith, especially the power of the Mass. I began to attend daily Mass, lead as well as attend several mens’ prayer groups, go to Confession, started doing Lord Teach Me To Pray and I continued to attend adoration. In no way did my experiences perfect me as a person, I still fall, but there is a major difference now. I used to rely on myself and the world to get back up, but now I know that I need to rely on God to lead me through this world. I know I can’t do it on my own, no one can. When I fall now, I know to turn right back to God and his eternal mercy, and that in and of itself is a miracle.
If there is anything I want people to take away from my testimony, it is the importance of the Sacraments and adoration. God works differently in everyone’s life, my story may be a bit different from yours. However, the key is listening for what God has to say to you, and adoration (even in short five minute visits) is a beautiful way to get away from the noise of this world and open one’s self to hearing God, because God’s voice isn’t spoken through the ear, but through the heart. All we have to do is make ourselves available to listen. I am just a person with a purpose, and now that I have found my way, I’m never turning back. My faith gives me boundaries, and when I overstep those boundaries, I know that God is waiting to welcome me back with open and loving arms. I can finally live my faith properly and know how to put everything into God’s hands. Life can still be confusing and difficult, faith doesn’t magically take any of that away, but it makes so much more sense and is so much easier when you know God is holding our hand and is leading us through it.
