December 2023

“If Jesus Christ came back tomorrow, would you be ready?” Those words (or something very similar to them) were the entire homily given by Father Harry Thompson at midnight Christmas mass I attended about thirty years ago. They have stuck with me ever since.

Until this year, I would have said I am not ready.

I have always been thankful to God for all the blessings in my life. I have great parents who raised me Catholic and taught me to go to mass. I married my high school sweetheart and have been blessed with four sons healthy and a healthy two-year-old grandson. My wife has always had a strong faith. Because of her, I have always been reasonably active in and supportive of my church parishes over the years. However, for most of those years, my heart was not in it. I served but it was more out of a sense of obligation than a heartfelt desire.

Today, I know that I am not ready, but I think I am on the right path. So, what has changed?

Two summers ago, my wife and I became empty nesters. With a relatively free calendar for the foreseeable future, I felt Jesus tugging at my heart. Around that time, Lance Ranlett made an announcement at mass about a program called That Man is You that he was trying to start up at SCS. The timing was perfect. I decided to attend. The night before our first meeting, Lance called and asked me to be facilitator of small group because another man could not make it. I said yes.

By facilitating small group discussions each week with other men, ranging in age from their 20’s through 70’s, I began to experience a connection with other men in our parish who were trying to progress on their own spiritual journeys. Fred Lay was one of the men in my group. About 12 weeks into That Man is You, Fred encouraged me to attend the next ACTS retreat. Although I had not attended a retreat since high school, I was out of excuses since my boys were all out of the house. I attended the ACTS retreat this past January. I had no idea what God planned for me. What I was hoping to get out of the retreat was a closer relationship with Jesus and to learn how he wanted me to serve Him. Well, I got some clear direction, which was to focus on daily prayer and my family, including getting over my reluctance to pray with my wife. What I didn’t expect is that I was going to meet a group of men whom I would call brothers. Yes, there are other men right in our SCS community who were thinking and feeling the same way I was.

As a result of the ACTS retreat, I begin each day in prayer. And, most days, my wife and I pray together. There is no better way to (re)connect with your wife than to pray with her.

A few months later, I went on a pilgrimage to Italy and had a personal encounter with Jesus at the Scala Sancta, a set of 28 white marble steps located in an edifice on extraterritorial property of the Holy See in Rome. I had this overwhelming physical sensation and heard very clearly from Jesus that He is walking with me each day and that I should get over trying to figure out what His ultimate plan is for me (so I could figure out how to get there). My heart was so full, and I wanted to share that with other men.

I graciously accepted an invitation to be a member of the ACTS retreat team for the retreat this past July. The team formation process and the retreat itself were amazing. It was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. Father Tim clearly sensed that. He called me and asked me to prayerfully consider being director of the next SCS men’s ACTS retreat (which was held a few weeks ago). My first question was, “how I am qualified to do that?” “Who am I?” Then, I remembered the words of Kenny Miller, the prior retreat director, who asked the same thing. Through prayer, Jesus helped me to move from asking “Why me?” to “If not me, who?”

The theme of our retreat was “Are You Ready?” Although it was a lot of work, there is nothing like the experience of working with and leading other men as they seek to move along on their own spiritual journeys. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17).

I no longer dwell on what God’s ultimate plan is for me or feel regret for not having done more in the past. I know that Jesus is walking with me and guiding me each day. I begin each day in prayer, giving thanks to God for all that He has done and is doing for me.

I may not be completely ready, but I am on the right path. I am inspired by the words of St. Catherine of Siena: “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” These words took on new meaning when we visited St. Catherine’s home in Siena on our pilgrimage this past April. Although the world seems to be a mess, I have learned that I can make a difference by focusing on my own community. And, if I can do it, so can you.