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St. Catherine of Siena Parish

St. Catherine of Siena Parish 

      "Centered on Christ, Ablaze with Love"

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  • emily mcelrath
    february 2021

    My name is Emily and I am an SCS mom, a military spouse and a pelvic floor physical therapist. I used to be in outpatient orthopedics until my own birth trauma and subsequent anxiety led me to a career change into pelvic health. It’s been a long road, but God has helped me find purpose in my suffering and that is a large part of what has helped me heal.
    I have always been “type A,” but after my second was born I became paralyzed by anxiety. The anxiety got so bad that when I look back on that time, I hardly remember it. It was like I was living my life, but I wasn’t really present. Immediately after my second was born, I felt great!....or so I told myself. His labor was quick (2.5 hours from start to finish), he was born on his due date, and we were only in the hospital for 2 days. As we settled into our new life as a family of 4, I was very mindful and proactive about addressing any postpartum depression (because I had heard a lot about that, but not postpartum anxiety). I prioritized things that helped me decompress, asked for help when needed, and started exercising again (WAY too early). I thought I was doing well. Then a week later, I got mastitis.

    No big deal. Lots of people get mastitis. I called my OB and started antibiotics, but then my milk supply basically dried up overnight.  After that I was constantly agonizing over producing enough breastmilk to ensure he was gaining weight, trying desperately to regain my supply, and spending far too much time on FB groups geared toward breastfeeding, child rearing, and natural remedies for increased milk production. Somewhere along the line, this snowballed into me diving down a rabbit hole of information about all the substances in our environment that are potentially harmful to our children. And then it happened. I went nuts ... legit nuts.

    My anxiety got so bad that one day my husband came home to find me throwing away every cosmetic and cleaning supply we owned because “it was poisoning our children”. Somewhere in the recesses of my brain I knew this was irrational but in that hormonally charged and sleep deprived state, no one could convince me that I was wrong. I started making my own cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, and deodorant. I refused to use candles, would only use homemade soap from my grandmother to bathe my kids, and spent far too much time scrutinizing food labels. I even spent a ridiculous amount of money on a Berkey water filtration system for drinking and cooking water because “our tap water is toxic”. My anxiety spiraled so out of control that I second guessed every single decision I made as a parent. I would lie awake for hours wondering if I should have let my 2 year old have that one M&M … because you know … dye.

    When my husband found me one evening, credit card in hand, ready to purchase a $12,000 mattress from Australia because it was flame retardant free and “organic”, he lovingly encouraged me to get some help. So, slowly I began talking openly about my anxiety. I asked my OB for a referral to therapy and started the discussion about the possibility of taking anti-anxiety medication. I also began seeing Sara Reardon (who is now my colleague) for pelvic floor PT. You see, my son’s delivery was physically traumatic for me, but I had blocked that out. I told myself “This is fine. Constant pelvic pain is fine. Peeing on myself when I sneeze is normal. Feeling like my insides are going to fall out is common after 2 vaginal deliveries”. Sort of like that meme of the dog in the burning room, saying “this is fine.”  It wasn’t until I saw Sara (almost 2 years after my son’s birth) that I realized how much this physical trauma had affected me on a mental and emotional level. And as scary as it was to admit that I was debilitated by my anxiety, it was also freeing.

    It’s been a long road and I’m not out of the woods yet. I am now 5 years postpartum from my second and I still have to manage my anxiety daily, but it no longer controls me. I consistently go to therapy, still see Sara for a tune up here and there, have added some relaxation and healing practices (lots of journaling and quiet time with God) to my daily routine, I exercise daily, and I share my story. That’s truly been the best part. Sharing my story has allowed me to meet other women who have had similar experiences, has allowed me to be a more compassionate therapist, and it has taken the isolation out of the anxiety. Ultimately, that also helps with the shame. I have learned to avoid triggers .... you know … all those FB groups I was in. I’ve realized that (while they no doubt help many other people) they were not helping me.

    I know I will always struggle with anxiety.  I know that I will need to consistently “treat” it and that’s ok. Thankfully, I have a wonderfully supportive husband, a fabulous therapist, a great pelvic PT, and a wonderful community of support.

    So if you are experiencing postpartum anxiety, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There is help. I encourage you to speak to your healthcare provider to find a plan that works for you. That might include therapy, meds, treatment for physical ailments, support groups, or a combination of these things. That’s OK! At the end of the day, remember that loving your children is the most important thing. Not the dye free food, washable diapers, homemade soap, etc. It’s the love! So I hope that today you can just allow yourself to love on your kiddos, and love yourself. You’re doing GREAT momma … keep it up!

    Below I have listed some links for information of postpartum anxiety, and resources to find help managing it.

    1. Postpartum Support International www.postpartum.net
    2. Anxiety and Depression Association of America. https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/women/postpartum-depression
    3. MGH Center for Women’s Mental Health www.womensmentalhealth.org
    4. Bryce Reddy LMHC I Mom Support on Instagram @mombrain.therapist

    If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis, please seek professional resources. To speak with someone immediately, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK). If you’re ever worried that someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 911.

  • Joel mcintyre
    january 2021


    My name is Joel McIntyre and I live in the city of New Orleans. I am a son, husband, father, friend and confidant. I’m very outgoing and find that people find me funny (not sure if that’s looking or not! LOL). I seem to be able to connect with people on their level, and that is why I feel I have been so successful in sales and marketing. I am also an entrepreneur where I am the co-owner of a premium pet shampoo company named Gordon MacIntyre, a Scottish themed, veterinarian formulated product. We are represented in Whole Foods Markets in 3 states and we are sold via distribution in 7 Asian countries. That said, I would look at myself as different from most people.

    I was diagnosed with ADHD before I was 7, and that was a lot to deal with in life, as well as at school. In my early years at school, I had a ton of friends and found myself hanging out with every crowd. I also excelled greatly at athletics, sometimes out-pacing kids my own age and playing in baseball leagues out of my age group. I had excessive energy, and I was often getting it out in the wrong ways. I was constantly in trouble and getting horrible grades. I was just not disciplined enough to understand how to deal with what I was going through. Throughout my life I have seen countless therapists to help deal with my anger issues and lack of desire for school. After several years of getting in trouble at school - and with the law - my parents had enough and sent me to boarding school. I greatly excelled there; captain of four sports teams with six letters, president of student council and a member of the National Honor Society. I earned an academic scholarship to a fantastic school and played baseball there. I was focusing all my energy into academics and sports in a strictly structured situation.

    Moving forward years later I found myself laying around with the curtains drawn and sitting or sleeping on the couch day in and day out, feeling very low, and did not have a very good feeling inside or about myself. I was a horror and drain on everyone around me, and this really affected my relationships, from my family the most, to my friends, to my work. I just didn’t care to be part of any of it. I just wanted to sit in darkness to mirror how I felt inside. This went on for a while and my wife really became sick of it, as I was physically there but had mentally checked out. This was a very sad time for me because I wanted to be that gorgeous person that I had been for my entire life, and I just couldn’t do it, and that was frustrating. No matter how much I tried, I just could not shake it. This went on for longer than I really could deal with, so I decided to see a therapist to have feedback from someone who was a third party. After a few visits, I was introduced to a psychiatrist to help better understand what might be going on with me mentally.
    At that point she told me, based on observation and conversation with my therapist, that they felt that I fit the typical Bi-Polar patient, and then was diagnosed.

    There are two major diagnoses, Bi-Polar 1 & 2. They each have their own symptoms that include ideas of grandiosity, increased talkativeness, and poor impulse control. Other major ones are increased risky behavior such as irresponsible spending or doing drugs, fluctuating energy levels from very elevated energy level to the lowest of the low. These actions or thoughts can last for up to a week or a few days, but you never know what you are going to get from one day to the next. You wake up one day and feel like you are on top of the world, and the next day you feel like the lowest piece of dirt in the world. It feels like there is nothing you can do to change it. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t kick it. Also, some of the bad sides within a manic episode are irritable or aggressive behavior and staying up for 2-3 days without sleep (hence medicine to be able to sleep). You get emotional for things for no reason, such as crying at something as simple as an advertisement for breath mints, or something like that, and yes this happens to me all the time. The list could go on and on. But I think you get the general gist of what I’m talking about, and 99.9% of people reading this will never understand what it’s like. I am not discrediting anybody’s feelings because we all get happy, and we all get sad. It’s just magnified a million times and lasts sometimes it feels like forever.

    I feel that my therapy and having that third-party person to talk to about what is going on has been one of the most important things that I have in my life. Without having that outlet, it makes things hard for people like my wife and friends because people have their own issues and don’t need my problems on top of it. So, therapy has been so good for me in my life. I live my life more even keel as I have found the right medications for me to help me live my life as normal as I can. I will need to be medicated for the rest of my life as if I don’t, I could slip into places that I don’t want to be or have feelings that I don’t want to have. I still have those feelings, but they are not as severe as if I wasn’t on medications. So those have been a godsend for me. With my medications I can live a more even life on both sides of the sidewalk. I am currently working on getting my Real Estate license and continue to move on with my pet shampoo business among other ventures. The great thing for me is that I have never been suicidal during any part of my life. I just feel that there are so many great things to live for even if I am going through the worst and best times, but I have to admit that I have called the suicide help line just to reach out to someone who will listen to me and talk with me when I need someone to talk to and someone who can understand my plight. These are the things that I have in my life both good and bad. It’s also hard to sum up everything in a few paragraphs.

    I couldn’t do this without my family. I have a great network and support group with my family and friends, and they understand what I am going through and know that things could go the wrong way at any time. My family is the most important and compelling thing in my life. Without my family I don’t know where I would be. My wife especially has been such a rock for me and has tried to understand what I am going through, and she does the best she can. I have been able to grow closer relationships with my family because they finally understand what is going on, although they cannot feel what I feel, but can see past that and just understand and love me for me. These things are the most important things in your life when you have setbacks like I do. I am closer with my children and my wife than I have ever been. People with Bi-Polar experience a divorce rate of 90%. It’s very hard for the partner to understand and deal with them because they don’t understand and just chalk it up to “there he goes again”. My wife and children have been so supportive and my immediate and extended family understand.

    There are so many things that have been positive to come out of this and my life. I want to make sure that people understand that there is no recovery!!! You don’t recover from this; this is a part of you for the rest of your life. If you think you can recover from this, you are not understanding what you are dealing with. The best things that have come out of my situation is the relationships I have forged with my family and friends. These relationships are the foundation of anybody dealing with any type of inflection in their lives. So, let me leave you with this: you have to work very hard at life just to get to even, but when you get there and the people around you are there for you nothing feels better in this world.

    If my story can help one person, it’s all worth it! Thanks for giving me this outlet to let everybody know my story.

    If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis, please seek professional resources. To speak with someone immediately, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK). If you’re ever worried that someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 911.
  • nicole bearb
    december 2020


    My journey in faith has not been easy, it has taken me quite a long time to realize the gifts that God has revealed to me, although sometimes hard to understand. I grew up in the Catholic faith, so God has always been present in my life, but the journey he has taken me on has been hard and full of mercy.

    My faith, as I knew it, changed in the summer of 2000. I worked at Lakeside Mall and would occasionally work the early morning shift at William Sonoma to help with new shipments. One early morning I parked my car, and my life changed in an instant. I opened my car door and when I went to grab my purse and lunch, my lunch fell on the floor. Still in my car, I bent down to grab my lunch and when I sat up there was a man standing in front of me with a gun. He told me to scoot over to the passenger seat. I begged him to let me out, but he told me if he let me go, he would get caught quicker. I was numb and in complete shock. I could not even understand what was happening. I prayed. I prayed harder than I had ever prayed in my entire life to let me live. I would do anything if God would let me live. I honestly believed that my life would end that day. To make an awfully long story short, this man, high on heroin, kidnapped me and drove 18 hours holding me at gun point. After begging him to let me go and threats to stick me in the trunk, because I was too hysterical, he dropped me on the street at 2 am in downtown Philadelphia and let me go, physically unharmed. We went through trial a year and a day after he kidnapped me and he was charged with first degree kidnapping, which meant a life sentence without a chance for parole.   
     

    My prayers did not stop there. The trauma that I endured would creep up on me when I least expected it. If it rained hard, I thought I would die. If someone drove too fast with me in the car, I thought I would die. If something suspenseful came on TV, I thought I would die. I think you get the picture. I went through therapy for a while and then with my kidnapper locked away for life I was able to eventually tuck all of the fear and trauma way down deep until it was like I was telling a story I read about. 

    Fast forward to 2018, I received a certified letter stating that a hearing would be coming up for my kidnapper to be released from prison. Yep, you heard that right, released! All those years of suppressing all of my fears came pouring out of me. I turned to therapy to help me deal with the paralyzing fear that I felt. These intense emotions affected everything in my life, my work, my friends, my family especially my husband and my children. It was sobering to see my 5-year-old trying to help take care of me and her little sister because she could tell mom was stressed! Then after hysterically crying the entire day for my nephews First Communion, which my girls still bring up (although they thought I was crying tears of joy) I decided to seek help from a Christian therapist, she suggested that I go to adoration to get my thoughts together, and to take time to actually process what could happen. I struggled with taking time to process this dark part of my past with my 2 girls running. Well, let’s be honest it was much easier to try to avoid feeling the hurt. So, I started going to adoration as often as I could, and I would write to clear my head.  Honestly, I did not know what to do at first in adoration, I would pray and then eventually I started bringing a notebook and writing down my thoughts which ended up being prayers. I prayed to God to allow me to have mercy on this man that caused me and my family so much pain. I did not know how to forgive, how to be ok with him being released, I now had my husband and children to think about, and those thoughts consumed me. Then God placed a message on my heart that I needed to go and meet with my kidnapper. I needed to see him for myself and ask him questions that weighed heavy on my heart. This was a process that took several years. 

    Through adoration and prayer, I started to realize that as hard as things got for me, that God saved me so that I could spread His word. Although it took me 20 years to realize this in the car that day, God sent me several messages. I kept hearing in my head the same phrase - if he likes me, he won’t hurt me, so I tried to make him realize that I was a real person sitting next to him. I felt my grandfather, who had passed away several years prior to this, in the car with me that day, I felt his arms holding me and guiding me, and then I was saved, my kidnapper just let me go. Throughout the years I have had this aching in my heart, something telling me that I was made for more, I was saved for a reason. I struggled with forgiving my kidnapper, with all he put me through, now over 20 years of emotional torture. So I prayed, and God answered me once more, I met with my kidnapper via Zoom on October 2, 2020 and I was finally able to see that through this experience God has shown me mercy and now it was time for me to do the same. I was able to forgive him, and now I feel that my heart has been opened to serve my God in any way that He sees fit. I used to say that everything happens for a reason and now I believe that God gave me this cross to do His will, to walk in faith, and to spread His word.          

    If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis, please seek professional resources. To speak with someone immediately, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK). If you’re ever worried that someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 911.
  • corey parenton
    november 2020

    36 years old
    Husband, Dad, Attorney

    I am never out of the fight. - Excerpt of the Navy Seal Ethos

    Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. - Romans, 5:3-5.

    I’m generally a happy guy. If you’ve met me, you’ve seen a smile on my face. But I also struggle. Sometimes a lot, but always hidden with a smile. I have to. Too many people depend on me to let the hurt take over. Therein lies the problem.

    I’m what some describe as an “unhappy achiever.” On paper, my life is wonderful. I have beautiful wife who loves me more than I can fathom, a son who’s my best buddy in the world, a great job, a good home, and a fat puppy that acts like my coming home is the biggest event of his day. In my mind, I have an unending obligation to all of them to make life, or my work, perfect. I’m a perfectionist by no means, but someone who sets the bar higher for me than anyone else will. It’s the idea that others – family, work, the community, and even my SCS family – need something of me, the best of me, and I have to make sure that I come through for them. Letting them down is out of the question.

    That no accomplishment is ever enough (in my eyes) and I can’t fix everything that affects those around me are tremendous sources of anxiety. I have had attacks in my house, in my office, in my car, at restaurants. The more noise, or the more pull in different directions, the worse it became. I felt my heart start to race, my focus fade, and an ultimate loss of control. The loss of control builds until it is replaced by an overwhelming sense of defeat. If I’ve lost control, I can’t fix the issue, and I can no longer achieve a given goal.
               
    If the goal is turning off the engine for a little while, but I’m surrounded by noise and distraction, I’ve lost. I can’t fix the problem. If the goal is cutting down the mountain of paper on my desk, but clients keep calling with question after question, I’ve lost and I can’t fix the problem. If it means giving my wife another baby and my son the sibling he prays so hard for every day, I’ve lost. That’s the big one. That’s the one that knocks me down on almost a weekly basis. And I can’t control that. I may not be able to fix that.

               
    We struggle with fertility, but in my eyes, as an “unhappy achiever,” I struggle with fertility. Before we conceived my son, the years of “trying” were soul crushing. There was no joy. We alienated ourselves from friends, especially those who conceived so easily. We were very lonely even though we were fighting the same battle together. Many nights, I considered walking away from marriage, not sure if we could ever be happy without a child. But for some unknown reason, I came across Romans 5:3-5. It was as if St. Paul was speaking directly to me, saying that God will allow me to struggle. He will allow me to face struggles because it is through the struggles that I will become stronger. I will endure because I have hope. In other words, never lose hope and you are never out of the fight. Keep going!

                 
    We tried a few things, and by the grace of God, we had my son. It was the most amazing experience of my life. Goal attained, and hope renewed for the future. St. Paul was right.

               
    After Jackson, we hoped things would continue to get better. Two years passed with no success. We returned to our doctor to try again. Several attempts later, we continued without luck. I underwent test, after test, after very invasive test, finally learning that I developed a stone in the prostate gland that catches and holds bacteria, leading to a somewhat permanent infection. Conception would be hard, though not impossible. I lost faith in both God and the process. I lost hope. The suffering of the first struggle paled in comparison to this struggle. Jackson wanted a sibling, my wife wanted another baby, and I couldn’t make it happen. I failed. I was on the doorstep of atheism because I was so beat up emotionally and spiritually. I could shout my prayers and only hear my echo. Never a response. No loving God, if he exists, could leave me in such heartache over such a pure and wonderful intention. I even told my wife that I don’t believe in God anymore. She was rattled, and I was empty. Coupled with the stresses of life, finances, family, my job, and even Covid, the noise was too much. I was exhausted.

               
    I stumbled across the movie Lone Survivor one day, and its central theme resonated with me. “I am never out of the fight.” No matter how dark it gets, no matter how alone I feel, I am never out of the fight. I can make it through any struggle if just I keep going. This was exactly what Romans 5:3-5 told me. I will face challenges, I will suffer, but I will come out on the other side. Hard as it may seem, this is God’s plan for me.

                 
    I know now that I will continue to battle with anxiety and depression. My sense of failure will come and go. But I will hope, and I will endure. I am never out of the fight.  For her, and for him, I will keep going. And I will get through it. That’s God’s promise.


    If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis, please seek professional resources. To speak with someone immediately, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK). If you’re ever worried that someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 911.

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ST. CATHERINE OF SIENA PARISH 
105 Bonnabel Blvd., Metairie, LA 70005
Parish Phone: (504) 835-9343
Parish Fax: (504) 835-1525
www.scschurch.com
 
ST. CATHERINE OF SIENA SCHOOL
400 Codifer Blvd., Metairie, LA 70005
School Phone: (504) 831-1166
School Office Fax:  (504) 833-8982
www.scsgators.org
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