Andy Hammer
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October 2020
Nathalie and I are happy to share our testimonial, especially being that October is “Respect for Life” month. This story is as much about our journey as it is about 2 women, who bravely chose to turn abortion into adoption.
Nathalie and I just celebrated our 15 year anniversary last week. Before we were married,
we had agreed on our desire to have children and to leave it in God’s hands to determine the “when.” Our understanding of the “deal” we made was that we’d be expecting our first child within the first year of our marriage. As fate would have it, that’s not the way it worked out. One failed month turned into two, which turned into six and before we knew it, a year turned into two years, and into three years. In the middle were countless visits to different doctors and specialists. Nathalie endured many procedures and a couple of surgeries. A very frustrating part was that there was not an answer as to why pregnancy wasn’t happening. I wouldn’t say we lost our faith, but I will admit that I started questioning things. Somewhere during that fourth year we decided to reset and take a break. We also both became much more intentional in prayer. Three months later we found out that Nathalie was pregnant and in May she delivered a baby girl, Nathy.
When Nathy turned one, we decided to try again. Much like before, one year turned into two. Determined not to give up our faith, Nathalie and her mother visited Sister Dulce in Baton Rouge who prayed over her. She’ll never forget how much she felt God’s presence in that moment and she knew she wouldn’t give up, but wondered where all of this was taking us. After 2 miscarriages we were drained. It was absolutely heart breaking to watch my beautiful wife, the love of my life, struggle physically, spiritually, and emotionally the way she was. It was just too much. We cried, we prayed, we were frustrated, we decided to take a break.
It was during December 2013 that I was walking thru the mall and saw a lady standing in one of those popup advertising booths. She reminded me a lot of a nun that I knew as a child, I couldn’t just walk past her. As I approached, I wondered what product she was going to try to sell me, perhaps a vacation or timeshare. Instead, she handed me a brochure from CASA and asked me to look into it when I had some time. I did and learned that CASA was an organization that helped, in part, finds foster kids permanent homes thru adoption. Nathalie and I started to explore the idea of adoption. Around the same time, Nathalie and her mother went to the shrine of Blessed Francis Seelos. That visit gave her a sense of peace and assurance that God’s “when” wasn’t over, it just hadn’t arrived yet. Before she left, she bought a medal and put it on. She felt she needed some reminder that God was with her and she felt His love.
On New Year’s Day 2014, we mentioned to a family friend that we were contemplating adoption. As it turns out, she had a friend who was a social worker that handled private adoptions and would put us in contact with her. I think when one is so used to things not going your way, one assumes that a small conversation like this will lead to nothing. Little did we know that our life was about to drastically change over the next 30 days.
On January 5th Nathalie talked to the social worker about our intention to adopt a child. The social worker would later tell us that after she hung up the phone, she immediately received a phone call from a very pregnant lady who finally decided to have the child adopted. The social worker, surprised by the coincidence she just experienced, called Nathalie back and let her know that if we were really ready, she may have someone. I received the phone call about 11:00 in the morning. Nathalie was crying so much that I couldn’t understand what she was saying….had someone died? The process of getting certified to adopt takes several months, we had three weeks.
We left that day to go to Baton Rouge to complete state and federal background checks. We were going to arrive later than they closed, but a phone call to the state employee we were meeting revealed that she was also adopted, and would wait there as long as needed, a small miracle in and of itself. The next day Nathalie was heading to New Orleans to handle some paperwork. Her mom asked her how she felt and if she had any doubts. Before she could answer, she looked up and saw a blimp flying around the city with the word “BELIEVE” flashing on it. We never looked back. Loren Violet was born three weeks later. Our prayers were finally answered. She is 6yrs old now, and knows that she grew in her mother’s heart and not in her belly. While it is hard at times to understand, she knows that means that she is loved.
In January 2016 we thought, should we try again? This time it really did take several months to get our paperwork in order. We were finally cleared in May of 2016 and in July we were called about a baby boy due in September. We met the young couple over the phone and in person. Our hearts broke for them. They were both young, loved the baby very much, but knew with the situation in their lives, they couldn’t care for a child. On top of that, she had been kicked out of her house because she would not have an abortion. They were left to sleep on friends’ couches for as long as they were allowed. Drew Richard was born in September. Nathalie and I finally felt peace, our “Hammer party of Five” was finally complete….or so we thought. God’s “when” had a different plan, we just didn’t know it yet.
Life was hectic, but a good hectic. One evening we received a random phone call. Loren’s
birth mother had another baby, and she wanted to know if Nathalie could meet her at the hospital. We hadn’t seen her since Loren was born. I recall Nathalie saying “God is this for real?” Nathalie met her at the hospital and later helped her get settled into a friend’s apartment. What was God asking us to do, provide a taxi service for this lady? The next day, January 13th she received another phone call asking if we could “watch” the baby for a few days until she got her things in order. This back and forth went on for many weeks. We’d have him for a few weeks then she’d take him for a few days, and on and on. In September of 2019, we picked him up and she hasn’t asked for him back. Although we have not finalized the adoption with Christopher, our family and kids love him as if he’s always been a part of our family. We know that God has a plan for us and this “when” will happen. We BELIEVE!
We know that everyone’s journey through these struggles is different and it can be frustrating and lonely. If anyone would like to talk about a possible journey to adoption, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We’d love to help.